


On Top of the World

by Saranghae



Series: Demons [3]
Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Self-Harm, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:19:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saranghae/pseuds/Saranghae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were just headaches. That’s all they were. Yunho was sure of it. Or at least, he was until Changmin started to get scared, saying he needed a doctor. Yunho was fine, he was completely, totally… fine. An accident onstage results in Yunho’s immediate charge into the nearest hospital. Mood swings, endless treatments and so many damn headaches later, Yunho realizes that maybe his health isn’t the only one at stake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Top of the World

Yunho had a lot of headaches lately.

He'd gotten headaches all his life, ever since he was a child. He supposed it was normal to get them, but sometimes Yunho's were so bad that he had to clutch at his hair and curl into a ball, trying not to let slip a noise of pain in fear of Changmin hearing him from the next room and becoming worried.

They were just headaches.

They hadn't been that bad until recently. They'd started to get bad about a week after Christmas. Slowly, day by day, they got worse and worse until Yunho woke up from the pain coming from the inside of his skull. He felt like he had tiny people in his brain, clawing and banging to get out.

One time, Yunho had woken up with a particularly bad one and had to rush to the bathroom so he didn't empty his stomach on the carpet floor of his bedroom. He'd had migraines before, but never this bad.

“Hyung?”

Yunho swore softly as he crawled out from under his blankets where he always hid when the headaches got bad. He hadn't wanted to wake Changmin.

“Yeah, Min?” he asked, trying not to let his voice sound too strained. He could almost hear the frown in Changmin's voice at his next words, eyes squeezed too tightly shut to see it.

“How long did you think you would be able to hide this from me?”

Yunho sighed and pushed the heels of his hands into his temples, trying desperately to shut out the pounding in his own ears.

“It's not that bad, Min-ah, just go back to sleep. I'll be fine in a few moments.”

He felt his bed sag when Changmin sat down on the edge of it. Yunho opened his eyes and squinted. It was too bloody bright for this. What the hell was it doing being bright out at 6 AM? It should be a crime or something.

“I'm not blind, Yunho-hyung. I've seen you clutching your head all the time. You look like you're in pain constantly... Are you sleeping at all?”

Yunho shook his head slowly. “Not much,” he whispered, knowing there was no use trying to skirt around the subject with Changmin once he'd sunk his teeth into it. “I get an hour or two of sleep then I wake up with a fucking headache bad enough to split me in half. It's always gone after an hour or so but as soon as I'm asleep again the headache comes back another hour later. It's the worst at night. The most sleep I ever get any more is four hours a night.”

When Yunho looked at Changmin's face he winced. He looked thoroughly pissed.

“And why the hell have you not told me of this before?” Changmin snapped, sounding very much like a mom but Yunho would never say that out loud—he liked his testicles where they were, thanks.

Yunho shrugged and rubbed his forehead in another unconscious attempt to get the pain to stop.

“Because all you would do is worry and that's the last thing you need right now.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Of course I'm worried, hyung, you're obviously in a lot of pain—constantly I might add—and you're barely sleeping a wink. Don't think I haven't noticed you not eating either.”

Yunho sighed, feeling entirely too tired to deal with this right now. He fell backwards, his head landing dully on the pillow. His headache was still probably about half an hour away from being tolerable and Changmin's badgering was not helping. “Please, Changmin, I just want to try and get another hour of sleep before rehearsal.”

Changmin stared blankly at Yunho, as if he found it incredibly stupid that Yunho assumed he was going to practice today. Yunho frowned when he realized that Changmin's expression was serious.

“Changmin, I have to go to rehearsal. Our concerts start again in a week. You expect me to just take days off because I have a little headache? Have fun trying to pull that one over on Manager-hyung.”

Changmin frowned, worrying his lip a little.

“You don't seem like yourself,” he said softly, eyes looking down and glaring at the sheets as if he was suddenly very interested in finding out what crimes the fabric had committed recently. “You're so grumpy... irritable and you snap a lot.”

Yunho raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes.

“Changmin-ah, I haven't slept properly since Christmas. I have yet to eat a full meal without wanting to throw it up the next morning. I can't even see straight half the time and you're wondering why I'm _grumpy?_ I think it would be a little obvious.”

Changmin looked slightly stung. “I knew it was worse than you were letting on. Jesus, Yunho, if this has been going on for almost two months... God, go see a doctor. What if something is wrong with you? At the very least you can get some decent painkillers so you can sleep at night.”

Yunho shook his head. “No doctors.”

Changmin huffed and crossed his arms. There was silence for a moment or two before Changmin's whispered question broke through the pounding in Yunho's head.

“When was the last time you talked to Jaejoong?”

Yunho sat up and glared lazily at Changmin. “Christmas,” he snapped, the word coming out a lot harsher than he'd meant it to. “Why?”

Changmin didn't even flinch though.

“Because, you complete asshole,” Changmin snapped back with just as much venom. “Maybe talking to a man who loves you more than breathing will help some. Try sleeping next to him. You always told me you slept _so_ much better with him beside you.”

Changmin's words were true, though the sarcasm was unnecessary. Yunho groaned loudly and fell backwards again with a soft _thump._ He covered his eyes with his arm and sighed.

“I'll call him,” Yunho said after a moment of silence.

To tell the truth, it had been killing Yunho going two months without speaking to his lover. He had ignored several texts and calls from Jaejoong. No doubt he thought Yunho was angry with him over something. It was horribly cruel of him but he didn't want to burden Jaejoong with his problems. Also because he knew that Jaejoong would side completely with Changmin on the doctor respect. The last thing he needed was two needy mothers looking after him.

Changmin seemed satisfied by Yunho's answer.

“Good,” he said, all too cheerfully for Yunho's tastes. “I'm going to make something for breakfast. I expect you to eat some of it. If you don't, I will force feed it to you. You don't have to eat much, just something. Since you are obviously not going to be swayed from your decision to go to practice, the last thing I need is you passing out on me.”

Changmin turned on his heels and walked swiftly from the room. Yunho rolled over and curled himself in his blanket hole when he heard the door click softly. He stared at the red numbers on the clock on his bedside table click 6:30 AM. He groaned. There was no way he was getting any sleep before their 8 o'clock rehearsal. He rolled back over onto his back and reached blindly over to his bedside table. He picked up his phone and dialed Jaejoong's number. It didn't even ring three times before Jaejoong answered.

“Hey Jaejoongie,” Yunho said, hand over his eyes. “I'm sorry I'm an asshole.”

* * *

Yunho felt like he'd been dragged through hell and dumped on Lucifer's doorstep. What a wonderful way to wake up. He groaned and rolled over, arm flopping over the very much asleep body beside him.

He pushed himself up on his elbow and smiled down at Jaejoong's sleeping form.

He looked good with red hair.

Changmin had been right, of course, that having Jaejoong next to him had greatly improved his sleeping. It didn't stop the headaches though, nor did it stop him from waking up a million times. All it did was make the sleep that he did manage to get a lot more restful.

He looked at the clock. 4 AM. Wonderful.

He sighed and leaned down to kiss Jaejoong's ear softly. The older man made a soft adorable noise and rolled over, face buried in the plush pillows.

Yunho laughed softly and then winced because doing so had spiked his currently killer headache. He hissed softly as he slipped out of bed, walking towards the bathroom. He turned on the light and instantly regretted it. Why, oh why, did light have to be so... bright? He let his eyes adjust to the light before inspecting his face in the mirror. He was glad his stylist was a miracle worker because he looked like shit.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, taking the time to take a shower before Changmin-his-royal-highness woke up and commandeered the bathroom for the better half of the morning like he always did right before a concert because he was one of the shiest, most self-conscious people Yunho had ever met and if he was anything but perfect he felt like he was failing his fans--who expected perfection. Jaejoong could attest to that, seeing as he was also one who enjoyed spending hours locked in the bathroom in front of a mirror for that very same reason and had always found Changmin's habit entirely frustrating.

The water was warm and soothing to every part of his sore body except his head. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Jaejoong had said the same as Changmin had—irritable, grumpy, moody Yunho was very much not normal Yunho. Yunho didn't much care what normal Yunho was but as long as he didn't have this headache, Yunho wanted him back.

Stepping out of the shower, Yunho dried himself off and tried to make the dark circles under his eyes disappear by simply glaring at them. He would get Jaejoong do attempt to do something to them before they left—if the man ever woke up because he could sleep like the dead and Yunho was an utter failure at getting him to rise when it didn't involve sex. Jaejoong always woke up when it involved sex.

Yunho huffed out in frustration and walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing at all. He was skinny, he knew it. He hadn't been eating properly at all and he could count his ribs. Jaejoong had almost had a panic attack when he'd seen him. He'd refused to leave the dorm for a second after that, always cooking for Yunho—and Changmin, who refused to be left out when food was involved—and making sure that he finished his plate and got exercise. Yunho hated being coddled but he liked it when Jaejoong took care of him. When he did it was so much more like a wife than a mother, which was what Changmin turned into when he got into protective kicks (which was more often than not lately).

He turned into the bedroom and walked towards his closet. He started searching for some clothes when he heard a chuckle behind him. He looked over his shoulder and caught sight of a very much awake Jaejoong staring straight at his ass. Yunho rolled his eyes and turned around, hands on his hips.

“Like what you see?” he asked, a twinkle in his eye despite the fact that his head had yet to stop pounding for the past three days and it was getting worse. Jaejoong had a way of making him forget things for a little while.

Jaejoong didn't say anything, just waved his hand downwards, beckoning Yunho to join him on the bed. Yunho chuckled and crawled over to his lover, capturing his smiling lips in a heated kiss.

* * *

Jesus Christ, why was this so difficult?

Yunho had never, not once, since he had debuted, had as much trouble remembering what the next step was.

He was losing his mind, that was the only explanation. He gritted his teeth and tried not to let the dizziness and splitting headache overwhelm him. Changmin kept sparing him worried glances but he ignored them, pointedly smiling widely at the fans and hoping that they wouldn't notice his sloppy dancing.

No, nope, this was so beyond not right. He _never_ messed up this dance. Rising Sun was _his_ dance. How in God's green earth had he managed to forget at least 6 moves already? The song wasn't even half over!

He was starting to feel out of breath and it wasn't from the dancing. His entire left side was slowing down and it was terrifying him. What if he was just going to spontaneously combust? He sure felt like it. He let out a soft whimpering noise when he felt his ankle twinge. He'd landed on it wrong. Not enough to brake or sprain, just enough to flair pain up his already slightly numbed leg and cause him to stagger.

Now _that_ the fans noticed. There was a collective gasp as Yunho stumbled sideways, shaking visibly and clutching the left side of his head. Changmin was at his side in a second. Their backup dancers seemed to not know what to do. Should they keep dancing? See what's wrong? Just stand there?

Most of them opted to just stand there and stare at each other in confusion as Changmin grabbed hold of Yunho's arm before he could fall on his ass.

Not a moment too soon, as well.

Yunho let out a sharp yelp of pain and gripped his head with both hands, giving a jolt. His entire left side felt like it was about to just suddenly stop working. His left arm even fell limply at his side and his left leg gave out under him. If Changmin hadn't been there to hold him up, something very, very bad might have happened.

Although, what _did_ happen wasn't exactly good.

Yunho saw a burst of stars dancing in his vision. They didn't look like the lights from the stage. They were dancing and clouding his vision, as if trying to blind him. Yunho realized with another jolt that they were doing exactly that. He was slowly losing vision in his left eye. He was shaking violently and he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't speak or move or anything. He'd crumpled to the ground quickly after his left leg had given out. Changmin was holding him around the shoulders, looking down at him fearfully. Yunho could just barely see him through the stars in his right eye which was still functioning.

He could hear shouts for an ambulance and the screams of the fans. He could hear Changmin's terrified voice screaming his name.

That was the last thing he heard before the world around him went black.

* * *

Yunho felt like he was suffocating. He tried to move but found he couldn't. He couldn't speak either, his mouth not even obeying his command to open let alone produce sound. He could hear two people talking above him. A man and a woman. He didn't recognize their voices. He slipped back into unconsciousness just as he heard the words, “...most likely cancerous...”

When he came to again he was much more in control of his ability to stay awake. He still couldn't move or speak and for a moment he wondered if he was drugged. He could hear people talking again. He knew some of the voices this time.

Changmin was there and so was his little sister. If she was there, he suspected his mother and father would be as well. He had already guessed where he was. He was in a hospital. If the stale smell of chemicals and the stiff bed wasn't enough of a clue, the fact that the other voice which he didn't recognize except that it was the woman who had been talking when he woke up the first time was talking about his 'condition'. Yup, very much in a hospital. Very much wanting to be anywhere else.

Yunho _hated_ hospitals.

“H-he'll be okay though, right? I mean, you can treat him. People recover from it all the time... right?”

Yunho strained to hear. He was losing consciousness again, damn it.

“With the right treatment, yes, there is a chance he will recover. There is also a chance, however, that it is too far gone to be treated correctly. I need you all to understand how severe this case is. He might not make it through this and you need to prepare yourselves for that. We're not even sure when he's going to wake up and we can't start treatment until he does. If he doesn't wake up within the next couple of days then I'm afraid there will be little hope for him to recover successfully. We can slow it, of course, but after a certain point there is only so much we can do.”

Yunho wanted to scowl and yell at the woman for talking like that and making his sister cry. He could hear her crying through the haze of unconsciousness that swallowed him yet again.

Yunho could have shouted with happiness when he awoke again because he managed to open his eyes. He was delighted to find out that he could see out of his left eye again.

He wasn't exactly pleased though, with the blinding hospital lights.

He groaned and turned his head to the side. He tried to cover his face with his hands but only the right arm responded. He froze for a moment, trying to get his left arm to move. He found, after a minute of wriggling and struggling, that he couldn't move his left side at all. He started to panic, his breath coming out in short, loud puffs.

“Hyung?”

He turned his head when the soft voice of one of his favourite people in the world sounded through his inner struggle. His eyes landed on Changmin and he let out a strangled cry.

He had no idea why he was reacting this way but it was terrifying him. The doctor had been talking about him never recovering fully. What if he died? What was even wrong with him?

“Changmin-ah,” he breathed, the panic evident in his voice. “M-Min-ah, why can't I move my left side? Why can't I move? What's wrong with me? What happened?” His voice broke but he didn't even care.

Changmin was at his side in a second. He slid his fingers into Yunho's working hand and pried it away from Yunho's hair, which he was currently clawing at.

“Shh, Yunho, shhhh,” Changmin soothed, kissing Yunho's knuckles with shaking lips. He was handling this a lot better than he normally would be. Changmin was very strong, but whenever he broke down it usually took an army to get him back up again. Changmin had obviously been crying—tear tracks streaked his face.

“What do you remember?” Changmin asked as calmly as he could. Yunho tried to breathe.

“I remember not being able to dance properly. I remember my left side going numb and getting a really really bad headache and my legs giving out and seeing stars and then I blacked out.”

Changmin nodded slowly. “You... you had a seizure, hyung.”

Yunho stared at Changmin, dumbstruck. “But... why?”

Didn't seizures usually occur in older people? Wasn't he too young?

Changmin took a shaky breath and ran his thumb over Yunho's knuckles. “Yunho, I need you not to freak out when I tell you this, okay?”

Yunho was officially terrified. He nodded anyways.

“You have cancer, Yunho-ah,” Changmin whispered gently. “A brain tumour. On the left side. That's why it's your left side that's acting up. It's pushing on your brain and messing with your system.”

Yunho was very proud of himself for not hyperventilating.

“Cancer?” Yunho whispered softly, unable to fully understand the concept. He had heard of stories of people with cancer, hell, he _knew_ people with cancer, but never in his life had he ever imagined himself having it. It just wasn't on the list of things Yunho had lined up for him before he died.

No... maybe this was _where_ he died.

Yunho swallowed back the sob.

“They... they can fix me though, right?” he asked, reminded momentarily of his sister asking very similar questions.

Changmin smiled a little and nodded.

“You woke up in time,” he whispered. “They can operate on you now to get the tumour out. You're going to need to do Chemo and radiation and physical therapy though, since it was cancerous and you've lost control of your left side. Once the tumour is physically gone though, they said that your old functioning will probably come back.”

Yunho almost couldn't breathe. “Probably?” he whispered. He wasn't sure what he feared more, dying or being paralysed on his left side. Never dancing again seemed like something he just wasn't willing to give up, even if it did mean the only other option was giving up absolutely everything.

Changmin couldn't look at Yunho's face. He just nodded.

“They can't give us definite answers, hyung,” he whispered, obviously trying extremely hard not to burst into tears again. “She said it's likely but because of the off chance that it doesn't actually turn out how she believes it will, she can't tell us for sure.”

Yunho swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat.

“I hope she realizes that her patient just might take an accidental tumble out a window if he can't walk again,” Yunho hissed bitterly. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Changmin's grip on Yunho's hand went steely and he stood from the chair he'd taken so quickly that it toppled over backwards.

Yunho looked up at Changmin in slight shock. Changmin threw down Yunho's hand, the tears bubbling over the edge of his eyelashes.

“Don't you dare,” he whispered, voice low and dark and more than a little menacing. “Don't you ever say anything like that ever again. Don't you _fucking_ dare.”

Yunho blinked in surprise and reached out his good hand to try and touch Changmin before he had a complete meltdown. Yunho wasn't sure if the meltdown was going to be a tearful one or a screaming throwing things one because the way it looked right now it could go either way.

“Hey,” Yunho said, trying to calm the shaking boy. “I wasn't being serious.” Honestly, Yunho wasn't sure if he was being serious or not but right now, seeing the look on Changmin's face at the very mention of it, he knew there was no way he would be able to throw himself out a window or do anything else of the sort. Changmin meant far too much to him for him to do that to the younger man.

Changmin shook his head—lips pulled tightly into a thin line and fists clenched at his sides. He ignored Yunho's outstretched hand.

“I held you,” he whispered, voice lower than before and scarily even. “On the stage, I held you while you were seizing and I thought you were dying. I thought you had died in my arms when you stopped moving. _God_ , Yunho, do you have any fucking clue what that did to me? I find out by some miracle you're still alive, but _oh_ what do you know? You have fucking brain cancer and I've been saying for a week, hmm, maybe you might want to see a doctor about that, and you know what you said? Fucking, _no_ , that's what you said, Jung Yunho. You are the single most idiotic person I have ever met. When someone has a headache that bad for two fucking months they don't sit at home acting like a grumpy brat who got up on the wrong side of the bed, the go to the fucking hospital. Maybe if we had gone a week ago like I fucking _wanted_ then you wouldn't have had a seizure, your tumour would already be gone and you would still have control over your left side. I fucking wish for one damn second you wouldn't treat me like a child and listen to me. You brush me off so often that it's gotten to the point of I literally gave you the fucking _manual_ on how to save your own life and you just tossed it away because _I_ was the one who had given it to you. Now, not only are you making fucking _jokes when you could be _dying_ but you're making fucking jokes about _killing yourself_. Fucking brilliant, you are. An A+ best friend, I'll give you that. My hat is off to you. You... _fuck you, Yunho._ ”_

Yunho could only stare. He hadn't heard Changmin prattle off like that in years. Not since... well not since it had been five instead of two. Yunho had never been the blunt of a severely hurt and completely pissed off Changmin before but he had witnessed it. It was ten times more terrifying when you were the object of his wrath.

Yunho swallowed shallowly, his hand still mid stretch towards Changmin.

Changmin stared at him, glare darker than any Yunho had ever seen, for a minute, two, five. It seemed like a year passed before anything happened. What did happen, though, made Yunho's stomach twist in the most horribly painful way.

Changmin's face contorted from a look of pure hatred into that of a beaten, abused and terrified child. Changmin was shaking, his lip quivering and tears sliding freely down his cheeks. His legs gave out and he fell to his knees on the white tile floor beside Yunho's bed, his hands covering his face as he sobbed loudly. His sobs turned slightly hysterical about halfway through the breakdown, coming out in half screams.

Yunho reached down and slid his fingers through Changmin's hair. He had tears on his own cheeks now.

“Changmin-ah,” he whispered soothingly. “Minnie, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You mean everything to me, I never meant to make you hurt so much. Please Min, please stop.”

Changmin managed to reign in his sobs after another moment of Yunho's soft words. He lifted his watery gaze to his leader.

He was suddenly on his feet and then on the side of the bed and then curled up completely laying on the bed beside Yunho. Yunho wrapped his right arm around Changmin and pulled him close, letting him bury his face in Yunho's chest.

If anyone else had been in the room, Changmin would never have allowed himself this. They'd learned over the years of it being just them that they depended on each other more than they ever had before or ever would with anyone else. Yunho had found himself with an armful of Changmin more times than he could count.

Changmin was so complex and layered and Yunho had never known half of what it was to know Shim Changmin until he'd been forced to spend every second of every day with no one _but_ him. Changmin was probably the single most endearing person he'd ever met.

He was proud to say that he loved Changmin.

It wasn't the same kind of love he felt for Jaejoong or even the same kind of love he felt for his family.

Changmin was more than a best friend and more than a brother. He was a soul mate. Yunho understood now what Jaejoong and Yoochun had. He almost felt like what he and Changmin had was stronger. The very thought of being without this man was enough to sicken him. He tried to picture himself in Changmin's shoes, forced to watch Changmin suffer the way he was.

He wanted to smack himself for being such an ungrateful asshole.

“I'm sorry, Changdol-ah,” he whispered, kissing Changmin's temple softly. “I'm sorry. I love you, Min.”

Changmin made a soft noise which Yunho knew was him accepting the apology.

* * *

Jaejoong had come by later that day after being contacted by Changmin that Yunho was awake. He'd brought Yoochun and Junsu with him which was equal parts terrifying, mortifying and awkward.

He hadn't spoken to them in... _God_ it had been literally years since he'd said a single word to either man. Jaejoong and Changmin didn't speak to each other much unless it was necessary even though the often found themselves in the same room, but at least they saw each other and spoke to each other occasionally. Neither Changmin nor Yunho had even seen Yoochun or Junsu in person for years.

It hadn't been that bad though. He was surprised and strangely warmed to know that they had been worried out of their minds about him and missed both him and Changmin dearly. Yunho missed his brothers, he missed the relationship he'd had with the two of them. He knew Changmin definitely did. He'd been closer to Yoochun than anyone else in the beginning, though he'd spent more time with Jaejoong and Yunho. He'd spent almost all of the time he spent with Junsu bullying him, but Junsu knew that was Changmin's way of showing how much he cared for the angelic man. Yoochun had genuinely just been Changmin's friend. Yunho had been his father, Jaejoong his mother, Junsu his amusement. Yoochun his friend. Yunho missed their odd little family.

They'd left once things had started to turn towards the actual operation which had to happen sooner rather than later, leaving Yunho with Changmin and Jaejoong.

Yunho was absolutely terrified.

What if they did it wrong? What if he never woke up after he was put under? It wasn't that he didn't trust the doctors skills, he was just far too paranoid to ever be put into this kind of situation and to be given a choice. He literally had a choice. He could say no to the only thing that would save him to avoid a scary operation. _Why would they do that?_ Yunho had seriously considered saying no until he'd seen Changmin and Jaejoong's faces.

Okay, it was the operation or seppuku because there was no way he would be able to die of 'natural' causes peacefully with the fact that he'd just torn the heart from everyone he loved hanging above his head.

Yunho said yes to the operation.

* * *

“You're not eating.”

It was a very simple observation, not a question. Changmin looked up at Yunho and raised an eyebrow.

“You are confined to this room, whereas, I am not. How do you know I'm just not eating when you can't see me?”

Yunho didn't miss a beat.

“Because you've lost too much weight in the last week to be healthy, you've been looking at my food with a mix of want and disgust and because you're shaking.”

Changmin looked down at himself and made a face. “I'll eat when you're discharged,” Changmin muttered softly.

Yunho would have rolled his eyes if it weren't for the fact that he very much believed that Changmin was being serious.

“No, you're going to eat now because if you don't I'll force feed you. Or better yet, I'll tell Jaejoong you're not eating and let him deal with you.”

Changmin visibly shuddered. An angry mommy Jaejoong was not something Changmin wanted to experience again. Yunho tended to agree with him. With the flip of a switch, Jaejoong could go from being a sweet, kind, angelic, shy beauty to being a loud, sharp, demanding hardass. Not that Yunho didn't love his ass, but he didn't much love when he was being scolded by a sharp tongue and a wagging finger. It reminded him scarily of his actual mother.

“You're cruel,” Changmin said, pouting.

Yunho _did_ roll his eyes this time. “What are you trying to do? Starve yourself? That's not going to help me recover any quicker you know.”

Changmin frowned and looked at his hands.

“I just can't really stomach things much any more... Not after seeing you after the operation. God, I thought you were dead before they hooked you up to the monitor and I realized your heart was beating.”

Yunho touched the scar on the side of his now bald head (Jaejoong had had something to say about the fact that they'd shaved his whole head instead of just the side they needed to, but Yunho had reigned him in) and sighed. It wasn't the nicest looking thing in the world. It didn't help that Yunho's head had swelled up to the size of a balloon for the first week. There was still swelling, but at least he didn't look like a monster now. He shrugged and dropped his hand back to his side. His _left_ hand.

He had completely regained control of his left side from the waist up. He was still having trouble walking for the most part, but he could stand and shuffle around a little if he was holding onto something. His leg just wasn't responding properly. It was because of the part of his brain that the tumour had been pushing against. It had controlled his motor control, apparently, and it had pressed a little too hard. They'd tried to be as careful as they could when removing the tumour, but it was too early to say if this was a lost cause. Yunho was determined to not give up, no matter what. He was not going to be in a chair for the rest of his life.

“Look, just please eat something, Minnie,” Yunho said, pushing his half eaten tray of food towards the younger. “Just a little thing. It would make me feel better.”

Changmin looked at him for a moment before picking up a slice of apple and nibbling at it. Yunho smiled and nodded, satisfied for the moment.

“Mr. Jung?” Yunho looked up when the cute, tiny physical therapy nurse stuck her head into his room. “It's time for your session.” Yunho smiled and nodded, letting Changmin help him into the chair that he'd been using since he'd woken up after the operation.

“Will you come with me to my lesson?” Yunho asked Changmin when he handed Yunho's chair off to the nurse. Changmin smiled and nodded, following behind as the nurse pushed Yunho through the hall towards the physical therapy room.

Yunho was lucky. He was glad that Jaejoong was filthy stinking rich now and could afford to pay a little extra so that Yunho was completely undisturbed by anyone he did not give express permission to see him. He didn't want people seeing him like this. The hospital bill had been covered by a mix of SM and his family. He had outright refused to let Jaejoong pay any of it originally, but the sneaky bastard had gone behind his back and gotten him a private room on the priority floor.

He'd learned from his doctor that his irritability was because of the tumour and the headaches—which had all but disappeared after the tumour had been removed—and that it might come back every now and then but for the most part he would act like his normal self again. Yunho was glad of that.

Every now and then Yunho's left eye would get a little dimmer than the right and it scared him but the doctor had assured him that was just his brain trying to repair itself. He hoped that was all it was. It only ever got bad when he was angry or upset over something.

“Jaejoong said he was going to come by later. Junsu's coming with him.”

“Oh?” Yunho asked, looking up at Changmin who was walking beside his wheelchair.

“Yeah, apparently Yoochun is too busy with filming and can't make it today but he'll stop by tomorrow.”

Yunho couldn't tell from Changmin's expression what he was thinking.

“That's nice of him,” Yunho said softly.

Their relationship with Junsu and Yoochun had healed a lot more over the last week that he'd been in the hospital. It had almost been three weeks since he'd first been admitted. He honestly just wanted to go home and sleep on a more comfortable bed.

“I hope Jaejoong brings me food, I'm getting very tired of hospital food very quickly,” Yunho said with an exaggerated sigh.

Yunho heard the little nurse giggle softly behind him as she turned the corner and pushed his chair into the therapy room.

* * *

Probably the scariest thing about this whole thing and all the side effects and problems was when he forgot things.

He had yet to forget anything big, like someones name, but he'd forgotten what song they'd been singing before he'd had his seizure and what colour his sheets were back at the dorm and how many years it had been since his debut. He'd even forgotten what the house he'd grown up in looked like.

These things came back after a panicked hour or two of confusion unless someone told him. He wasn't losing memories, they were still there, he was just losing the ability to access them all the time. That's what his doctor said at least.

She said a lot of things that pretty much just terrified him.

Yunho realized slowly that when he was worked up about something that he forgot things easier. He'd also developed a tremor in his left hand. He guessed that came from the fact that he wasn't done physical therapy but a very annoyingly loud part of his mind told him that it would probably never go away.

His eye went dark a lot more than it should lately. His doctor had taken a look at it and said that there may be some permanent damage to his brain in that respect if it was getting worse instead of better.

That was terrifying. So many things she said were so scary.

A lot of things were getting worse instead of better.

His eye, his tremor, his memory failure, even his irritable behaviour.

“Just give it time,” she had said to him over and over and over again to the point where the second she opened her mouth he knew she would say it.

Yunho had given an entire month.

* * *

“What the fuck, Changmin!”

Yunho grabbed Changmin's shoulders, shaking him hard.

Changmin's eyes were wide and fearful. Yunho rarely shouted.

“That the fuck are you doing? _Why_ are you doing this?”

Yunho grabbed Changmin's wrist and pushed back his sleeve roughly. He glared down at the claw marks that littered his flesh. Changmin had always had a habit of scratching his arms when he was nervous or upset. He did well of hiding it but Yunho had caught on a couple years ago and tried to get him to break the habit.

Apparently it hadn't worked.

“I didn't mean to,” Changmin said in a small voice, looking down at his arm, eyes tracing the marks. Some were deep. Changmin had dug his nails into his arm, literally tearing his skin away. It killed Yunho on the inside to see them.

“You're hurting yourself, Minnie, why on earth are you doing this?”

Yunho's voice was softer this time. He didn't shout, just pulled Changmin into his arms and held him close.

Yunho was sitting on the edge of his bed, Changmin perched precariously on his lap where Yunho had pulled him down. He was almost straddling him.

Yunho held both of Changmin's wrists up, his fingers circling them gently. “You need to stop doing this,” he whispered softly, letting go of one of his wrists to brush Changmin's bangs out of his face. “Seeing you hurting only makes it harder for me to get better.”

Changmin's lip quivered and he nodded. Changmin had cried a lot more than Yunho had ever seen in the last month. He'd always let his guard down when he was alone with Yunho but this was concerning.

“How are you feeling, Changmin?”

Changmin bit his lip and shook his head. “I don't know,” he whispered. “I... I think I'm getting bad again.”

Yunho took a deep breath and let it out slowly, nodding. “I thought so,” he whispered, stroking Changmin's hair.

Changmin had struggled with depression for a while now. He'd almost completely conquered it before this had all happened.

“Have you seen Soomi-sshi?”

Changmin shook his head and fiddled with the buttons on Yunho's shirt.

“I thought it would just get better on it's own so I haven't called her,” he whispered softly, looking everything like the small child that Yunho knew he was still on the inside.

Changmin had been forced to grow up entirely too quickly. He was more mature than anyone Changmin's age that Yunho knew but he still had that big part of him that wanted to be babied and taken care of. He was used to being the maknae of four members, all of them two years older than him, all of them taking care of him. Changmin hadn't been ready to become an adult yet when he'd been forced to.

“You should call her,” Yunho said, pulling Changmin into a hug. “I couldn't bare if it got as bad as last time.”

Changmin nodded against Yunho's shirt and let himself be held, his arms pressed against Yunho's chest.

Soomi was Changmin's therapist. Almost no one knew that he had struggled so hard with depression. Soomi was very discreet and incredibly helpful. She helped Changmin a lot and Yunho was forever indebted to her for it.

“I love you, Minnie-ah,” Yunho said, planting a kiss on Changmin's forehead. “I'm going to get better, so don't worry. Everything will be alright.”

* * *

“Yunho, you have to stop freaking out about this,” Changmin said to him, sitting down on the bed beside him. “You're getting better every day. You can stand on your own, walk on your own. You're running around and practically jumping up and down sometimes, I don't understand how you can say you're getting worse.”

Yunho looked at Changmin with large, scared eyes. He didn't want to tell Changmin, who had just barely started to get back on track after talking to Soomi. Yunho hadn't told anyone yet. He was scared to. He was scared what would happen. He was especially scared of what Jaejoong's reaction would be if he found out. No, Yunho was determined that Jaejoong would never learn.

“I forgot his name,” Yunho whispered, his voice hitching.

Changmin froze, his eyes going wide and fearful.

“Who's?” he asked softly, almost as if he was scared to know the answer.

“Jaejoong's,” Yunho whispered, his voice breaking. “Changmin, oh God, I forgot _Jaejoong's_ name. How could I forget that? How could I... Changmin, he's my _lover_. I _love_ him. I forgot his fucking _name_ , Changmin.”

Changmin put an arm around Yunho's shoulder and pulled him into a tight sideways hug. “It will be okay,” Changmin whispered softly, voice shaking despite his words. “You remembered again. You're not losing memories because they're still there. You'll never forget any of us, don't worry.”

Yunho took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He hoped more than anything that that was true.

* * *

Sometimes, Yunho's mood swings got really bad. They didn't happen very often any more. Yunho had been in the hospital for a little under two months. Radiation was working well enough, his physical therapy was coming along so well that he felt he would finally be able to get back to his normal life soon.

Sometimes though, Yunho turned into almost a completely different person.

“Hyung, please... please calm down.”

Yunho picked up the glass of water on his bedside table and threw it at the wall, watching with strange satisfaction as it shattered against the wall.

Changmin yelped loudly and covered his head to avoid flying glass. A couple doctors rushed into the room to see what had happened.

Yunho was staring at the space on the wall which was now soaked with the water from the broken glass. His breathing was coming out in rough puffs of air. His left eye darkened and he shook his head.

Fuck, he didn't want to go bloody blind right now. Now was not the time for his eye to act up.

“What the fuck do they thing they're doing?” Yunho shouted, turning his gaze back to Changmin, who looked slightly terrified. “You're not a fucking slave, they can't treat you this way!”

Changmin put his hands up to stop the doctors when the came forwards to try and restrain Yunho who was obviously in one of his worse moods and it was impossible to tell what he would do. The doctors stopped and looked at each other but left the room when Changmin prompted them to. Everyone on this floor knew that the only people who could really calm Yunho down were Changmin, Jaejoong and his sister.

“Yunho-ah, it's not that bad, please calm down.”

Yunho shook his head and smacked Changmin's hand away when he tried to touch Yunho's arm.

“No, Changmin!” he shouted, grabbing Changmin's upper arm harder than he should have. “Even you know that this is out of line.”

Changmin didn't argue that.

SM hadn't dropped Changmin's work load at all. No, they seemed to think that it was reasonable to give him Yunho's as well.

Yunho was staggered to know that Changmin had managed to do all of that work and visit Yunho every day. He'd even taken to staying the night in the bed with Yunho when Jaejoong wasn't there to claim the spot beside him.

“You can't be expected to do that much! Fuck, Min, no wonder you're not eating. God damn it, I swear I'm going to kill every single one of those old bastards when I get out of here.”

Changmin put his hands on Yunho's arms gently, tentatively. Yunho didn't throw him off this time.

“Hyung, really, I'm fine. It's not a big deal.”

Yunho growled lowly. “Not a big deal!” he shouted, pulling away from Changmin and kicking violently at the leg of one of the chairs in his room. It toppled over with a loud crash. “Yes it's a fucking big deal, Changmin! Don't you dare try and tell me otherwise!”

Changmin obviously wasn't sure what to do. He had tears in his eyes. Yunho wanted to both comfort him and kill every single person who ever tried to touch his best friend because, damn it all, Changmin was dealing with enough shit as it was and he didn't need to have to spend every minute he wasn't with Yunho slaving away to satisfy a company who had done nothing for Yunho since being admitted to the hospital except pay the bill, which was in their legal contract anyways.

“I know that this is hard for you to understand but I'm really fine,” Changmin said, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and moving forwards to put his hands on Yunho's cheeks. “I've been talking to Soomi and she gave me braces for my arms so I couldn't hurt myself any more. Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I'm perfectly fine. I just want you to focus on getting better.”

Yunho glared up at Changmin and grabbed one of his wrists, pushing his sleeve back to reveal the tight, thick brace around his forearm. Yunho could see scratches where the material had been shredded by Changmin's violent fingers. Yunho had forced him to get his nails practically cut off when he'd started scratching again but Changmin's nails grew abnormally fast.

“You're still scratching,” Yunho said lowly, glaring up at the younger man. “But I'm glad you can't hurt yourself any more.”

Changmin nodded slowly and pulled his arm away, moving back a couple steps. Yunho frowned. He watched as Changmin hugged his chest, his hand resting on his upper right arm, gripping it tightly. Yunho let out a soft hissing noise and reached out, grabbing the bottom of Changmin's shirt. He knew the signs.

He yanked the cloth over Changmin's head, ignoring his protests. He forced the shirt off of Changmin's body and stared at his now bare arm. Changmin was trying desperately to cover it. Yunho grabbed Changmin's wrists and pulled them away from his body so he could see what Changmin was trying to hide.

“Damn it, Changmin!” he screamed, throwing Changmin's hands down.

He glared at the red, blue and green bruise on his upper arm, the teeth marks having torn the skin in a couple places.

“You can't fucking scratch yourself any more so you've taken to biting? Do I have to lock you in a damn cage until you get it into your thick skull that hurting yourself isn't fucking helping you?”

Changmin's lip trembled and he snatched his shirt back from Yunho, pulling it over his head as quickly as he could.

“I know that,” he said, sounding like he was trying to be tough but his voice wavered. “I do, I just... Yunho it's so hard sometimes. I can't sit here and watch you struggle. I know that hurting myself isn't the answer and it's not like I want to do it it's just... sometimes scratching and biting is the only thing that brings me back to reality when I get really bad. Yunho-hyung, it's really bad.”

His voice broke on the last sentence, his eyes sliding closed. Changmin's body gave a slight shudder and his knees shook, threatening to give out while he fought with his emotions. Yunho felt the anger slipping from him. He stepped forwards and wrapped Changmin in his arms, shushing him gently.

“You have to fight it, Minnie,” he whispered softly. “You're stronger than this, I know you are. There's no reason to be sad. I'm getting better. I'll be going home soon. The doctor said I would. Soon we'll be back in the dorm and everything will be back to normal.”

Changmin cried softly into Yunho's sweater, his arms gripping the material at Yunho's chest.

Yunho stayed silent for a moment until Changmin stopped crying. He needed to change the subject.

“Did you have fun with Yoochun the other day?”

He felt Changmin smile against his chest. “Yeah,” he whispered softly. “Jaejoong-hyung's cafe makes really good coffee. I can see why Yoochun-hyung goes all the time.”

Yunho chuckled softly and rubbed Changmin's back. “You'll have to take me when I get out of here.”

Changmin moved back from Yunho's chest, straightening to his full height—which was a good 3 or 4 inches taller than Yunho, damn brat was still growing.

“I can get Yoochun-hyung to bring you a latte when he comes over tomorrow.”

Yunho smirked and nodded. “I'd like that, Minnie.”

Changmin seemed to be in a lighter mood now, which Yunho was happy about. He made a mental note to talk to Yoochun and Junsu about Changmin's condition. He needed eyes watching him now more than ever. Jaejoong knew but only because he'd seen one of Changmin's fits first hand a couple days after Yunho's operation.

Changmin's health was even more important to Yunho than his own. If he was going to get better, so was Changmin.

* * *

“I don't want to go.” Changmin sounded as if he wanted to cry. Yunho knew that he wasn't going to—they'd both cried enough in the last two months to last them a lifetime.

Yunho smiled and touched Changmin's cheek.

“I'll be fine, Minnie, it was just a little fall, it's not a big deal.”

Changmin looked as if he very much wanted to protest but Yoochun swiftly walked into the room, hooked his arm around Changmin's waist and spun him around. He walked the man out of the room with nothing other than a fleeting 'but'. Yunho chuckled softly. He was glad they were getting along again.

Yunho sighed and closed his eyes.

Changmin had a concert to do tonight. Alone.

TVXQ had gone far too long without performing, apparently. It wasn't as if one of the members was known to have cancer and was currently recovering after having a very traumatic, very _live_ seizure in the middle of a concert show.

No one saw him unless he let them, but he had let people tell the press things about him—like that he was doing well and it looked like the cancer was beatable. Yunho hoped it would stay beaten.

All of his therapy had been paying off. Mostly, at least, until he'd decided to get cocky and ended up falling down the stairs.

He hadn't hurt himself that badly, except his tremor was worse than ever and he had completely lost sight in his left eye. The fall had left him shaken and completely utterly terrified. He knew now—he wasn't ever going to see out of his left eye ever again. He'd smacked his head on the ground when he'd landed. Whatever that had done to his brain wasn't something they could change. His doctor had said there was nothing she could do. He wasn't surprised.

He'd lost a couple days worth of physical training because his leg had started to act up but his doctor said that was to be expected after a fall like that and that he would be back to running and jumping and dancing in no time.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. He wished that he could go with Changmin to the concerts so he wouldn't be alone but he had to make sure that he was ready to perform in front of the fans the way he'd done before. Nothing would be halfassed, He would practice with his eye, get used to being blind in one eye. He could do it. He could still see perfectly fine with his right eye.

He could do this.

He could and he would.

He would beat this cancer.

* * *

Yunho let his stylist fuss over him for the first time in months. She was crying but not loudly—just silent tears sliding slowly down her cheeks. Tears of joy and relief. Yunho hadn't realized just how many people had been worried about him until he'd arrived at the concert hall and had seen the reaction on everyone's faces. He almost regretted keeping his time in the hospital so secret.

Everyone knew that he was now blind in his left eye. He'd released a statement to the press via his sister saying that he didn't want anyone to worry, that it was just a price he had to pay but he is happy to be able to live his life still. He was warmed when she'd told him people had wished him well and told him that as long as he was still alive and well, they would be happy.

Yunho took a deep breath and watched the people around him bustling about.

Changmin had no idea he was here.

That was probably the best part of this trip. Not that he was finally out of that blasted hospital. Not that he was going to be able to surprise his fans by suddenly appearing after a full recovery(or as full as it could be, considering that he still had to continue his radiation and Chemo treatments to make sure the cancer stayed gone). Not confidently being able to say that he could perform like he used to again.

No, the best part was that he was going to be able to see Changmin's face when he saw his hyung walking and talking and singing and dancing on stage again. Yunho didn't know whether to expect a hug or a punch.

He smirked to himself and walked towards the entrance to the stage when his stylist was finally done messing with his clothes.

Jaejoong came up beside him and started to fuss with his clothes, obviously deciding that his stylist hadn't done that enough. Yunho looked down at his lover and leaned in for a quick kiss when no one was looking. Jaejoong smiled against his lips and pulled away, giving Yunho the thumbs up sign for good luck and disappearing backstage again. Yunho wondered vaguely how he'd managed to sneak his way back here.

Yunho was still bald from the therapy, much to Jaejoong's dismay, but that didn't stop his stylist from taking a million years to go over him with a fine tooth comb to make sure he was immaculate. He waited for his cue, his breath caught tight in his throat.

This was Changmin's third concert alone. He hadn't been doing well with the other two nights. Being onstage alone was lonely but he put on a brave face for the fans. He'd been so busy with the work load that he hadn't been able to see Yunho in two weeks. They'd talked on the phone as much as they could but being so alone wasn't good for Changmin's health right now. He was glad at least Yoochun and Junsu spent as much time with him as they could to keep an eye on him(no more biting, as reported by Yoochun).

He heard Changmin's voice over the loudspeakers. There were questions on the screen asked by the fans for him to answer.

“How is Yunho...” he mumbled into the microphone, reading the question. Yunho could see him on the screen across from his entrance. He wanted to get on the stage that second and crush Changmin in a hug because of the chest fallen look on his face.

“I don't really know,” Changmin started, scratching the back of his neck and staring at his feet. “I haven't seen him since the day of my first concert. Ah... He was doing good at the time I saw him, but I don't have any way of...”

Yunho couldn't bare it any longer. He was supposed to wait until Changmin was done answering to make his appearance but this was close enough. He walked out onstage, microphone to his lips.

“Why don't you just ask him yourself?”

The whole building erupted into screams. Yunho almost didn't notice. He'd never felt his heart burst with so much happiness as it did at this moment, seeing Changmin's eyes go wide when he heard his voice and turn sharpy in his direction. The smile that broke over his face was breathtaking.

And suddenly Changmin was running at him, mic dropped on the stage where he'd been standing. Yunho walked faster to meet Changmin halfway, arms open wide. Changmin let out a loud excited squeal which he would later deny ever producing and threw himself into Yunho's arms.

Yunho spun him around, his long legs flying out before stopping the spin. Changmin's legs hiked up and wrapped themselves around Yunho's waist, attaching himself to Yunho like a child to it's mother.

Yunho held him tightly, one hand under his bum to hold him up and the other tangled in Changmin's hair. The younger man had his face buried in Yunho's neck. It felt like a year passed before Changmin planted his feet back onto the ground and pulled his head back. There were tears glistening in his eyes but his smile was wider than Yunho had ever remembered it being.

Changmin's microphone had been abandoned on the stage about 15 feet away so Yunho lifted his mic to Changmin's mouth so he could speak.

He laughed when he did.

“You jerk!” Changmin shouted into the microphone, slapping his hands against Yunho's chest playfully. “You planned this, didn't you? That is so mean! How long have you been discharged?”

Yunho smirked and brought the mic to his own lips--he still had one arm around Changmin's waist, their hips touching, but it was like the most natural thing in the world for them to be so close.

“Yesterday around noon,” he answered. Before Changmin could argue he removed his arm from around Changmin's waist so he could press his fingers to the younger's mouth. The fans laughed at the indignant look on Changmin's face.

“Before you murder me,” he said, bringing about another bout of laughter, “I want you to know that I wanted to tell you right away but Manager-sshi said that it would be more fun for everyone if I surprised you like this. So kill him, not me.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Like I could harm a hair on your head,” he said, snatching the mic from Yunho and turning his back on him to stride back over to where his own microphone lay. He turned his head to look over his shoulder at Yunho before stooping to pick up the neglected microphone. “Although, there are no hairs on your head.”

The fans made a garbled noise that sounded like some people were laughing and some were letting out sighs of despair. Yunho smirked. He quite agreed—he missed his hair.

Yunho shrugged. “Yeah, but I've got a wicked scar,” he said when Changmin walked back to him and handed him one of the microphones. He pointed at the left side of his head, the one that the audience couldn't see since he had yet to turn to face them completely and was standing in profile.

Changmin looked at his head and frowned.

“Don't remind me. And I forbid you from showing our lovely Cassiopeia. You will disgust them all and I will have to pay for your new found ugliness.”

Yunho laughed and smiled when the fans complained that they would in fact like to see the scar and would not be disgusted. Yunho turned his head towards them a little so just a little of it could be seen coming down across his cheekbone. The scar went from the highest point of his left cheekbone, up across his temple and around his ear down to the base of his skull in a wide half circle. It wasn't nearly as gross as it was when it had first happened. Taking the tumour out had been the least fun part and definitely the most scary. Chemo and radiation he could deal with. The swelling had gone down completely a few weeks after the operation but it still left a rather ugly scar. Changmin was right, it was pretty disgusting. He didn't mind it though. His hair would grow back and cover it.

He turned his head fully when Changmin looked like he wasn't sincerely going to protest. The fans let out gasps and cries. None of them sounded particularly disgusted, just shocked and sad. He actually heard a couple of them start crying. He put his hands up and waved them back and forth a little, trying to calm them.

“No, no, don't be sad. I'm all better now! The doctor said I'm extremely lucky that I didn't lose any of my abilities or memories. It took a little bit of work, but I'm even able to do the dance routines like I used to. I'm fine.”

That seemed to cheer them up a little bit. Yunho smiled and Changmin was suddenly so close to his side that their arms touched.

Yunho turned to look at him. Their eyes met and Changmin smiled the softest smile that Yunho would have missed it had he not known the boy so perfectly well. “I'm so glad you're back,” Changmin whispered so only Yunho could hear. “I missed you.”

Yunho slid his hand down Changmin's wrist and linked their hands together. Normally, at an attempt like that in public, Changmin would have shaken his hand off and made some snappy comment. But he didn't this time. He gave Yunho's hand a squeeze and turned to look back at the fans.

Yunho kept his eyes on Changmin's face. Neither of them said anything. Changmin just stared at the fans and Yunho at Changmin's strong jaw and big eyes and high cheekbones. The audience slowly started to find Yunho was staring a little too hard for a little too long because there was a chorus of 'Ayyyyyyyy' and a lot of muffled laughter. Yunho didn't remove his eyes from Changmin's face, but he did lift the microphone to his lips.

“I love you, Changmin-ah,” he said clearly.

The fans screamed.

Changmin blinked in surprise and looked back at Yunho with a light blush feathering his cheeks. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. Yunho smirked. Flustering Changmin wasn't something easily done.

Changmin took a small, shaky breath and lifted his own mic to his lips.

“I love you too,” he whispered, a breath ghosting over the metal mesh on the microphone. Yunho swore he could have gone deaf from the screams that sounded at Changmin's confession.

Saying I love you wasn't something Changmin did... ever. He hadn't said it our loud to Yunho in years.

He never had to though, Yunho knew how much Changmin cared for and needed him. They were brothers, soul mates, best friends. They were each other's back bone and one being hurt meant the other felt pain.

Yunho beamed and finally tore his eyes away from his maknae. He pressed the mic to his lips again.

“Let me hear you!” He shouted. “We are--?”

His face hurt from smiling when the audience's loud, physical reply echoed around the room.

“T!”

This is where Yunho felt most at home. On a wide stage, his best friend beside him, his wonderful caring fans in front of him and the solid microphone in his hand. This was what he was born to do.

Yunho was on top of the world.


End file.
